今天小編給各位分享英語小笑話的知識(shí)，其中也會(huì)對(duì)英語小笑話80詞進(jìn)行解釋，如果能碰巧解決你現(xiàn)在面臨的問題，別忘了關(guān)注本站，現(xiàn)在開始吧！
搞笑的英語小笑話
搞笑的英語小笑話1：I Wasn’t Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: “Wake up, sir!”
“I wasn’t asleep,” the man answered.
“Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.”
“I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.”
我沒有睡著
當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”
“我沒有睡著。”那個(gè)男人回答。
“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已?！?/p>
搞笑的英語小笑話2：The poor husband
“You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife,” the man complained to his friend. “She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
“你根本無法扮芹穗想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的?！?/p>
Who’s More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
誰更有禮貌?
一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭(zhēng)論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對(duì)女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為廳卜他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o論什么時(shí)首虧候他在車上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。
搞笑的英語小笑話3：Let Dog in Hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.”
一個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來。
搞笑的英語小笑話4：Intelligent son
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn’t write the address and addressee’s name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter in the mail box?”
“Certainly”
“You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?”
“I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.”
“Then why you didn’t take it back?”
“I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!”
聰明的兒子
有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。
兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進(jìn)郵筒了嗎?” “當(dāng)然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”
“我當(dāng)然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”
“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”
搞笑的英語小笑話5：Put your feet in
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. “Mary !” called the teacher sharply. “Yes,Madam?” questioned the pupil , “Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!”
把腳放進(jìn)去
一個(gè)女學(xué)生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了?！艾旣?”老師嚴(yán)厲地叫她?！笆裁词?，老師?”這女學(xué)生問。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來，把腳放進(jìn)去?！?/p>
搞笑的英語小笑話6：I Wasn’t Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: “Wake up, sir!”
“I wasn’t asleep,” the man answered.
“Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.”
“I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.”
我沒有睡著
當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”
“我沒有睡著。”那個(gè)男人回答。
“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已?！?/p>
搞笑的英語小笑話7：The poor husband
“You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife,” the man complained to his friend. “She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的?！?/p>
搞笑的英語小笑話8：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
“Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!”
“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”
父親在哪兒?
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄?！?/p>
整理：zhl201612
英語幽默笑話7篇
笑話是一種經(jīng)過藝術(shù)加工的語言形式,是藝術(shù)化的語言，笑話是一種藝術(shù)方法，用這種方法造成以笑為藝術(shù)手段的文學(xué)藝術(shù)作品。饑扒下面是我整理的英語幽默笑話6篇，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語笑話一：Is he dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I’ll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流淚。一個(gè)朋友走進(jìn)來問他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說：剛才醫(yī)生告訴我，在我的余生里都要吃這些藥片。
他的朋友很輕松地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當(dāng)然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。
英語笑話二：The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to taken……。
一個(gè)金發(fā)女郎，是那么惡心的黃色笑話她把頭發(fā)染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農(nóng)村的一個(gè)搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來把……。
英語笑話三：太晚了 It’s Too Late
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: “Five grains.”
A minute later the student asked the professor, “May I correct my answer?” The professor looked at his watch and said: “It’s too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago.”
一個(gè)醫(yī)科學(xué)生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒?！?/p>
一分鐘后，這個(gè)學(xué)生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了?！?/p>
首肢宴英語笑話四：The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問道。
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道者銀。
英語笑話五：腦移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
“You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it’s not better, just unused.”
一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。
“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你?！贬t(yī)生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。
醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過?！?/p>
英語笑話六：最丑的孩子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩?！?/p>
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me.” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我?！蹦惺炕貞?yīng)說：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子?！?/p>
英語笑話七：我娶了你的姐妹
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位婦人發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫回家的時(shí)候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個(gè)毛病。一個(gè)萬圣節(jié)夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹后，準(zhǔn)備在丈夫返家時(shí)攔截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
當(dāng)丈夫走近時(shí)，她從樹后跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身后有長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。
“Who are you?” he asked.
“你是誰?”丈夫問到。
“I’m the Devil!” she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister!”
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
5個(gè)淺顯易懂的英語小笑話有哪些？
1、爆笑英語小笑話1：Who?are stupid？誰蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”她一開始就說。
小約翰尼站了起來。
“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問。
“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著?！?/p>
2、爆笑英語小笑話2：A?great man一名偉人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，納首他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎？
學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹梗€沒有人活到400多歲。
3、爆笑英語小笑話3：Two?Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.?He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)了一家商店，看到了一個(gè)可愛的小狗，于是他問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？”
店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人?！?/p>
這個(gè)男人就試圖撫摸狗，然后狗咬了他?！鞍パ健彼f：“我還以為你說你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他說：“那不是我的狗?！?/p>
4、爆笑英語小笑話4：Four gold teeth四顆金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英語小笑話5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺洞歲數(shù)語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人?！?/p>
“啊雀螞，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”
英語幽默短笑話10篇
在繁忙的學(xué)習(xí)工作中，適時(shí)讀一些幽默笑話，放松自己，勞逸結(jié)合十分重要。下面是我整理的10個(gè)英語幽默短笑話，希望大家喜歡!
英語幽默短笑話1.
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let’s watch TVwith a candie on.
邁克：媽媽，我想看行橋電胡賣視。
媽媽：今晚停電了。
邁克：那我們就點(diǎn)著蠟燭看吧。
英語幽默短笑話2.
The Fish Net
“Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?”
“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.
“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問道。
“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。” 小女孩回答道。
褲帶逗英語幽默短笑話3.
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.
“You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說?！霸俳o你兩分錢?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
英語幽默短笑話4.
I’ve Just Bitten My Tongue
“Are we poisonous?” the young snake asked his mother.
“Yes, dear,” she replied – “Why do you ask?”
“Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue! “
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個(gè)干什么?”
“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^?！?/p>
英語幽默短笑話5.
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City’s Grand Central Terminal – As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, “Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?”
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準(zhǔn)備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮(zhèn)定了一下，對(duì)我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
英語幽默短笑話6.
— My uncle has 1000 men under him.
— He is really somebody. What does he do?
— A maintenance man in a cemetery.
— 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。
— 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?
— 墓地守墓人。
英語幽默短笑話7.
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. “Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America.”
一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來的。”
英語幽默短笑話8.
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It’s no use, my little dog can’t read.
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。”
英語幽默短笑話9.
—Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
— I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
— Well, bring me the winner then.
— 服務(wù)員， 這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。
— 對(duì)不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
— 哦， 那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。
英語幽默短笑話10.
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,”Get the kid.”
這里想對(duì)將要退休者提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，
千萬別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锶巳硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時(shí)，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧?！?/p>
英語幽默短笑話10篇相關(guān)文章：
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3. 最搞笑的英語小笑話十則
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英語小笑話
#英語小笑話#
英語和中文一樣，都有各自的特色，笑話也是大有不同，接下來我們就來看看一些英語中的笑話吧~
1. Why is the doctor so angry?
為什么醫(yī)生那么生氣？
A: Because he has no patience.
因?yàn)樗麤]有耐心呀。
笑點(diǎn)：耐心=patience，病人=patient 一語雙關(guān)
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
鱷魚穿了背心會(huì)變成什么？
A: An Investigator.
調(diào)查員
笑點(diǎn)：這個(gè)點(diǎn)在讀音，investigator = in + vest + alligator
3. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
你為什么不能給Elsa（《冰雪奇緣》女主角）氣球？
A: Because she will Let it go.
因?yàn)樗龝?huì)讓氣球跑掉。
笑點(diǎn)：《冰雪奇緣》的主題曲就是“Let it go”。小朋友一定能知道這個(gè)梗。
4. What do you call a computer that sings?
會(huì)唱歌的電腦叫什么？
A: A-Dell
Adele
笑點(diǎn)：A Dell（一臺(tái)戴爾電孫模腦）和著名歌手Adele也是諧音。
5. What do you get from a pampered cow?
一頭被寵壞的奶牛會(huì)給你些什么？
A: Spoiled milk.
壞掉的牛奶。
笑點(diǎn)：Spoil做動(dòng)詞是“寵溺”，spoiled做形容詞也有變質(zhì)的意思。一語雙關(guān)。
6. What do you call a bee that lives in America?
住在美國(guó)的蜜蜂叫啥？
A: USB
笑點(diǎn)：美國(guó)是U.S. U.S.+ bee = USB
7.Your brain has two parts: left right. Your left brain has nothing right, Your right brain has nothing left.
你的大腦有兩個(gè)部分：左腦和右腦，你的左腦里沒有則缺緩右腦的東西，你的右腦里沒有左腦的東西。
笑點(diǎn)解析：right同上；left作形容詞時(shí)意為左邊的，作leave的過去分詞使用時(shí)意為剩下的。所以后面兩句還可以理解為“你的左腦里沒有一點(diǎn)正確的東西，你扮察的右腦里什么也不剩。”（我才不會(huì)直接說你笨呢）。
今日的小笑話先講到這兒，你還知道哪些呢？
今日詞匯:
not so much as …甚至于…都沒有
set sb to do 使某人做
be determined upon … 對(duì)…意志堅(jiān)定
a strip of 呈條帶狀的一片
divide sth into 把…分成
at the end of 在…盡頭；在…結(jié)束時(shí)
a great deal of 大量
look back upon 回憶；回顧
英語小笑話的相關(guān)介紹就聊到這里吧，感謝你花時(shí)間閱讀本站內(nèi)容，更多關(guān)于英語小笑話80詞、英語小笑話的信息別忘了在本站進(jìn)行查找喔。
