提起英語(yǔ)冷笑話，大家都知道，有人問(wèn)英語(yǔ)冷笑話帶翻譯簡(jiǎn)單，你知道這是怎么回事？其實(shí)英語(yǔ)冷笑話帶翻譯簡(jiǎn)單，下面就一起來(lái)看看英語(yǔ)冷笑話，希望能夠幫助到大家！

英語(yǔ)冷笑話諧音梗

英語(yǔ)冷笑話諧音梗如下：

1、What do you call a deer with no eye?

(沒(méi)有眼睛的鹿 是什么鹿)

No eye deer (No idea).

無(wú)眼扒指鹿（不知道）

2、What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?

(一個(gè)遲到的番茄會(huì)對(duì)其他的番茄說(shuō)什么)

I will ketchup (catch up).

(我能趕上)(ketchup 番茄醬)

3、What do you call a bee from America?

(來(lái)自美國(guó)的蜜蜂叫什么)

A USB (US bee).

4、Which is faster, hot or cold?

(冷和熱，哪個(gè)更快)

Hot. Because you can catch a cold.

(熱更快，因?yàn)槟隳茏飞侠?會(huì)感冒 catch a cold）

5、What did my dog say when I asked him the answer for two minus two?

(當(dāng)我問(wèn)我家信此賣(mài)的狗2減2等于多少，他說(shuō)了什么)

He said nothing.

(他什么也沒(méi)說(shuō) / 他說(shuō)什么也滑逗沒(méi)有)

求一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的英文笑話冷笑話也行帶翻譯

Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered. “You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。 “昨天給你的錢(qián)干簡(jiǎn)塵凱什么了？” “我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)?！霸俳o你兩分錢(qián)?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的?！?Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. “What kind of bird?” my sister asked. “I didn’t see the bird, ma’ am, only the nest,” replied the child. “Then, can you give us a description of the nest?” my sister encouraged her . “Well, ma’am, it just resembles your hair. “兄轎 Notes: (1) inform v.告訴 (2) nest n.窩；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓勵(lì) (5) resemble v. 相似；類(lèi)似 18.鳥(niǎo)窩與頭發(fā) 我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師。一次攔喚一個(gè)學(xué)生告訴她說(shuō)一只鳥(niǎo)兒在教室外 的樹(shù)上壘了個(gè)窩。 “是什么鳥(niǎo)呢？”我姐姐問(wèn)她。 “我沒(méi)看到鳥(niǎo)兒，老師，只看到鳥(niǎo)窩?！蹦呛⒆踊卮鹫f(shuō)。 “那么，你能給我們描述一下這個(gè)鳥(niǎo)巢嗎？”我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。 “哦，老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。” I’ve Just Bitten My Tongue “Are we poisonous?” the young snake asked his mother. “Yes, dear,” she replied – “Why do you ask?” “Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue! ” Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue 因?yàn)槲覄傄Я俗约旱纳囝^。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎？”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問(wèn)它的母親。 “是的，親愛(ài)的，”她回答說(shuō)，“你問(wèn)這個(gè)干什么？” “因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^?！?A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City’s Grand Central Terminal – As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, “Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?” 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車(chē)。接近門(mén)口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過(guò)來(lái)，沒(méi)想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準(zhǔn)備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來(lái)。她鎮(zhèn)定了一下，對(duì)我擠了一下眉，說(shuō)道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？” 英語(yǔ)笑話（一） Q: What’s the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can’t have monkeys. 猴子會(huì)和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會(huì)直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長(zhǎng)跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個(gè)答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了農(nóng)夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會(huì)生氣的；而如果你踩了農(nóng)夫腳底的雞眼，他會(huì)更生氣。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因?yàn)閟nail（蝸牛）的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說(shuō)蝸牛是世界上最強(qiáng)壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說(shuō)呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces這個(gè)短語(yǔ)，你可千萬(wàn)別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因?yàn)槌诉@個(gè)意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎樣才能不讓夢(mèng)游者（sleepwalker）夢(mèng)游（walk in his sleep）呢？最簡(jiǎn)單的方法就是不讓他睡覺(jué)。雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢(mèng)游者醒著呢，他的確就不會(huì)去夢(mèng)游了。 英語(yǔ)笑話（二） He is really somebody — My uncle has 1000 men under him. — He is really somebody. What does he do? — A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個(gè)大人物 — 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。 — 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的？ — 墓地守墓人。 英語(yǔ)笑話（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. “Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America.” 它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的 一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。 這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō)：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的?！?英語(yǔ)笑話（四）my little dog can’t read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It’s no use, my little dog can’t read. 我的狗不識(shí)字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛(ài)的，我把珍愛(ài)的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告??！ 布朗夫人：沒(méi)有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字?！?英語(yǔ)笑話（五）Bring me the winner — Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. — I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. — Well, bring me the winner then. 給我那個(gè)打贏的吧 — 服務(wù)員， 這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。 — 對(duì)不起，先生，這只肯定打過(guò)架了。 — 哦， 那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。 英語(yǔ)笑話（六）The mean man’s party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.” “Why use my elbow and foot?” “Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You’re not coming empty-hangded, are you?” 吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客 一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門(mén)，然后用你的胳膊肘按門(mén)鈴。門(mén)開(kāi)了之后，再用你的腳把門(mén)推開(kāi)?！?“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？” “你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。 英語(yǔ)笑話 有聲英語(yǔ)笑話,推薦

求一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)冷笑話

多給你幾個(gè)吧！反正都是抄的！希望你能開(kāi)心！??！He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That’s too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他世滾贏了

湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？

約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。

湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？

約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰(shuí)能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, “What happened?”

“A kid bit me,” replied Ivan.

“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asked his mother.

“I’d know him any where,” said Ivan. “I have his ear in my pocket.”

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事？”

“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。

“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎？”媽媽問(wèn)。

“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)?！八亩溥€在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.

“You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。

“昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了？”

“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)?！霸俳o你兩分錢(qián)。可你為什么對(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”

“她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, “What’s the meaning of the word ‘Drunk’, dad?” “Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”

“But, dad,” the boy said, ” there’s only ONE policeman!”

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問(wèn)題。他向父親發(fā)問(wèn)道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說(shuō)，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了?！?“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說(shuō)，“那兒寬毀只有一個(gè)慎返備警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: “You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?” “In the rat-trap, sir,” replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃蘋(píng)果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒(méi)有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開(kāi)了屋子。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤(pán)子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說(shuō)：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生?！蹦切∧泻⒄f(shuō)。

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話大全

冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流罩?jǐn)r氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔邸Ｏ旅媸俏規(guī)?lái)的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話，歡迎閱讀!

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇一

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he’d originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. “What’s so special about this coffin?” I asked the funeral director. He replied, “It has a lifetime warranty.”

在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢(qián)去買(mǎi)那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來(lái)，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中?！斑@副棺材有什么特別?”，我問(wèn)葬禮的承辦人。他回答說(shuō)，“這種棺材終生保修。

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇二

Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. “Thank you very much for your help,” the note read. “As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn’t win. “

有一次，我收到一封感謝信，如輪是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過(guò)了，露出了數(shù)字?！胺窃鼝炐懦８兄x您的幫助，”信上寫(xiě)道，“作為禮物，我給您買(mǎi)了些彩票—-真遺憾，您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇三

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”

一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問(wèn)題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫(huà)，你將救出哪一幅?”

The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”

獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門(mén)口的那一幅。”

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇四

One day, Tim’s mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, “You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?”

一天，蒂姆的數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對(duì)了。老師很高興，同時(shí)也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說(shuō)：”蒂姆，你這次的作業(yè)全都做對(duì)了，怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?”

“No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself,” said Tim.”

不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。”

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇五

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, “School-Go Slow

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇六

The Preacher Buys a Parrot

傳教士買(mǎi)鸚鵡

A preacher is buying a parrot.

一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡。

“Are you sure it doesn’t scream, yell, or swear?” asked the preacher.

“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。

“Oh absolutely. He’s a religious parrot,” the storekeeper assures him.

“噢，絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡?！钡曛飨蛩ＷC。

“Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord’s prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.”

“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的那些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右邊這根，它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng);當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左邊那根，它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)?！?/p>

“Wonderful!” says the preacher, “but what happens if you pull both strings?”

“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō)，“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩根繩子，會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”

“I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!” screeched the parrot.

“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去，你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。

經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇七

Working at the post office, I’m used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, “What’s the trouble?” “I went out this morning,” she began, “and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!” After apologizing, I got her parcel. “Oh, good,” she gushed. “We’ve been waiting for this for ages.” “What is it?” I asked. “My husband’s new hearing aid.”

我在郵局上班，對(duì)于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個(gè)生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來(lái)到我的工作臺(tái)時(shí)，我還是非常平靜地問(wèn)她，“有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說(shuō)，“我回到家的時(shí)候，我看到一個(gè)卡片，卡片說(shuō)郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒(méi)人在家?？墒俏业恼煞蛘麄€(gè)早上都在家啊。他說(shuō)他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她?！班?，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色?！拔覀兊冗@東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問(wèn)?！拔艺煞虻男轮?tīng)器”。

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